Last week I visited Las Vegas for the first time - a desert snow globe of excitement where the Seven Deadly Sins are properly encouraged, and there is no such thing as enough neon lighting. While it's not in me to be gluttonous, it was certainly tempting with all the luscious sugary treats displayed 'round every corner. Massive assorted cupcakes topped with mounds of fudgy chocolate or rich buttercream. Ruby red candied apples glistening next to their chocolate caramel-pecan-marshmallow-toffee crunch nut counterparts. Caramel popcorn, chocolate mint malt balls, red velvet cupcakes, dark chocolate spring rolls - there is no end to the sweetness of Sin City, nor a limit to the ridiculousness of its price tag.
Our indulgent delight one evening occurred in the Sugar Factory Chocolate Lounge - a trio of chocolate fondues - dark, milk and white - with different dipping selections - lemon pound cake, red velvet cake, fudge brownie, strawberries, bananas, marshmallows, gummy bears and white chocolate bread. At $30, this chocolatey pleasure (along with a Red Velvet Martini) was well worth it. However, we did pass up the opportunity to completely splurge. For a mere $1000 you can experience "Chocolate Gold", which includes a number of gilded treats as well as a bottle of Dom Perignon and a glass of Hardy d'Or 50 Year Cognac.
But the $1000 golden fondue orgy was not the most monetarily ridiculous sweet I found at the Sugar Factory. In fact, the $12,000 Herve Leger dress I had tried on earlier would be financially plausible if my bank account could afford such a thing. You see, the Sugar Factory is home to the Couture Lollipop...a delectable globe of artificially flavored sweetness atop a sparkly rhinestone handle. At first I thought, "How darling! So sparkly and shiny and full of girly happiness! I must buy one!" I picked out a pinkish stick and made a beeline to the cashier. The following dialogue ensued:
Cashier: "How are you doing tonight?"
Me: "Very well, thank you. How are you?"
Cashier: "Very good. Will this be it?"
Me: "Yup."
Cashier: "That'll be $26.93."
Me: "20 bucks for a lollipop?!"
Cashier: "25 dollars plus tax, actually."
Me: "Screw that...25 dollars for a fucking lollipop..."
Cashier: "Yeah...I know."
It's not that the rhinestone pop is unaffordable, it's the fact that it's a glorified Tootsie Roll Pop on a mini stripper pole, most likely manufactured in China for 5 cents...okay maybe 10. At least the $12,000 evening dress doesn't disappear after you wear it. While the lollipop holder is refillable and serves as a super cute fashion accessory, it's the principle of the pop. If I need sparkly lollipops to match every outfit in my wardrobe, I'll invest in a bag of Dum-Dums and a Bedazzler.
